I was recently invited to a birthday lunch by a very good friend of mine who is a businessman discussing this subject: “Is a mentor really necessary for children, teenagers, post-grads and adults?” It was a fascinating discussion that caused much debate for hours, at which point and very fortuitously he introduced me to a lady, Reeta Minhas-Judd.
We examined the current world we live in, which is a world that is focused on the things that are new, fast and most innovative — but there was also something to be said about looking back in time and how life has changed through the generations.
We discussed that in society mentoring and coaching can bring about a range of benefits for young people, including for example improved relationships, increased communication skills and resilience.
It can lead young people to change their behaviours, for example helping to reduce absenteeism and/or improve pass rates. That the older generation rarely used coaching or mentorship as a succession plan to their careers, mentors provided newer employees with information and support they really needed to succeed and move up the ranks in an organisation.
But the employees who did engage with mentorship saw the benefits of the mentor-employee relationship, thus, the benefits were not just for the employees; generally, the company saw some significant engagement benefits as well.
At its most basic, the mentor-protégé relationship is one of information sharing. When the mentor works at the same workplace as the protégé, that means he or she will be able to share details about the way the workplace functions that may have taken the protégé years to figure out.
This can enrich the protégé’s understanding of a subject in ways that may not have been possible in the classroom, or help the protégé understand a topic in a way she may not have considered. In short, the additional knowledge helps employees become more well-rounded and think more critically about problems and solutions.
Jeff Myers president of Summit Ministries, once said: “Mentoring is the cultivation of young adults, the tender caring for and nurturing of them so that they will grow, flourish, and be fruitful.”
Today I have the distinct pleasure of introducing another Guest Blogger, Reeta Minhas-Judd, who is a qualified NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programme) Coaching Practitioner.
She is passionate about transforming positive change with people, starting her life journey working in customer-facing job roles and then trained to become an NLP Practitioner which proven to be very successful, also qualifying in NLP coaching which led Reeta to become an NLP Life Coach.
In her own words, ‘NLP has transformed my life by me simply changing my beliefs and values with a more positive view.’
Reeta is now going to talk to us the importance of coaching through the lens as an NLP Life Coach.
Lack of Confidence
I have seen several clients who have experienced low confidence. This has impacted on all areas of their lives. It is a belief that lacking confidence can sometimes just affect one aspect of a person’s life, however, I believe this is not the case. The lacking of confidence and self-belief impacts on everything you say and do. Do any of these examples sound familiar and resonate with you?
“Not accepting the job offer because you do not feel you will be successful in the job role and you don’t want to be seen as a failure”
“Refusing to confront an issue for fear of reprisal and humiliation”
“Not following your dreams, because you just don’t think you are good enough”
“Declining invitations to functions, because you feel that you will be ignored or ridiculed”
“Not having the courage to ask for help, for fear of rejection”
Constant Negative Outlook
This is a very common perception for many people. This is connected with lacking confidence and in turn, causes the negative outlook. Some of my clients’ glass has always been half empty because they chose to see things in a more negative light so that when bad things do happen they are justified for believing that this is the case. When you are in the “negative zone”, everything appears to be dark and they see nothing but negativity and dismay.
Do any of these examples resonate with you?
“I knew my computer was going to break one day and now it has”
“It always rains when I am going out”
“I never have any luck”
“I hate my job and my boss hates me”
“The world is a horrible place and everybody hates me”
Self Esteem & Self-Worth
I have experienced so many clients who do not believe in their own self- worth. They tend to forget or blot out what they have achieved in their lives and instead focus on what they have not done or gained. They make comparisons on what others have and what they feel they will never be able to have. Self-worth and self-esteem is very closely connected to lacking of confidence and negativity. It is your belief that you are not worthy. It is not necessarily the view of others, but you choose to think that this is the case. Some examples of this may include:
“I wish I was as attractive and confident as he/her”
“I look so fat, I just can’t seem to lose any weight”
“I will never be able to get that job”
“He/She will never ask me out because I am not pretty or intelligent enough”
“They have achieved so much in their career and I am still in the same job role”
Suppressed Issues/Trauma is another aspect which I have dealt with on a personal and professional basis. It is so easy to suppress things we don’t want to think about or talk about. This suppression will never be dealt with and will fester unless it is addressed and managed. If not addressed issues/trauma will come out of you in a physical form. This will cause health issues because of the constant anxiety and stress of not dealing with the problem.
I was bullied as a child at school and I never disclosed this information to any of my family or friends for fear of embarrassment, feeling ashamed and being judged. It took years for me to identify why I was feeling and behaving the way I was and to deal with my emotions. I am now able to deal with the trauma I experienced as a child and I am now at peace with this issue and have moved on and left the negative experience in the past, where it belongs.
Coping & Dealing with Bullying
Bullying is not just prevalent in the school playground, it is evident in everyday life including an individual’s work life, personal life, relationship, family life.
As a survivor of bullying, it is important to address it and not disregard the feeling and emotions, as I speak from experience, it will haunt you for life and impact on everything you do. Your personality will alter because of the emotions of bullying if it is not addressed. Learning to cope and deal with bullying will give you the strength to know it is wrong and to make the changes required to stop it from taking place in whatever aspect of your life you are experiencing it.
It will also, in turn, prevent others from having to face the same challenges of bullying. In my experience, bullying made me a “people pleaser”, and subservient to others and I was so worried to speak my mind for fear of being bullied in return.
I only started my journey of NLP a few weeks ago as a secondary business to my main source of income, customer service training. I feel I have already evolved into a more positive and happier person very quickly.
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) can be used by everybody and the strategies are simple, but the outcome can be so effective. The impact can be life-changing, and I speak from experience, as an article which I wrote on ‘Training within Businesses’ has been published in the Business Connexions magazine.
I never believed that an article which I wrote would ever be printed, published and read by so many people. This is why I have followed my passion and have become a Life Coach, because the feeling of being able to help and support others is by far the most rewarding element within my role.
NLP has made me believe that I can achieve anything I want through the power of the mind and simply by changing my perception. Through one simple advert on a local community website, since qualifying as an NLP Practitioner, I have been inundated with enquiries and I had 21 clients in the space of a month. This in itself speaks volumes.
People are so busy with their lives, that the art of communication has become redundant in many circumstances. With the technology of mobile phones, social media, the internet etc, actually sitting down together in the same room and communicating face-to-face, has now become secondary to texting, emailing etc.
There are millions of people in this world who just want to talk to somebody about their issues and concerns, and yet they refrain from sharing with others for fear of being judged, or because they feel ashamed.
This is where NLP is so decisive because it allows individuals to change their outlook and their mindset, by simply applying and practising daily strategies which will shift their current mindset and allow them to have their voice heard, without fear of judgement or ridicule.
My passion for listening and helping others has made me appreciate my own life and I have learnt how others have been less fortunate than myself. Therefore, I show gratitude for everyday things which we all take for granted.
We have one life and it is not a dress rehearsal, so it needs to be embraced with happiness and not be suffocated with sadness and negativity. I myself was once a “glass half empty” person, but now my glass is overflowing!
We must try to live in the present and not the past, so many things which have previously angered me and festered a feeling of resentment within me, I have now addressed and allowed myself to move on. I now let the bad and negative emotion go, and see it as a part of my life which I no longer need to revisit.
I have received flowers from clients and received many testimonials which have moved me to the core.
My clients have expressed their gratitude to me with such warmth and passion, and this makes my job so worthwhile. I truly believe that I have finally found my vocation in life, and helping clients achieve their goals and aspirations is life-changing, not only for themselves but also for myself.
Being heard across matters of the heart matter and this makes a huge difference.
We all need purpose in our lives, why not contact me for a real conversation today?
You can contact Reeta Minhas-Judd via:
– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reeta-minhas-judd-b60a5a147/
– Mail: Rmjtrainingservices AT gmail DOT com (removing all the spaces)
– Web: https://rmjtrainingservices.com